American Smile, British Teeth

by Chas Palmer-Williams

Blood is thicker than Evian Read that word backwards Believe that, you’ll believe anyone And technology is consuming me Im going old school Im using quills, morse code and a pleasant pigeon. That magazines just page 3 With tattoos stuck on them That chaps a rapper now His band doesn't like him She said it’s Chinese and a water symbol I said that’s highly original I need lessons in melody, not melancholy The year i became ordinary Bob Marley’s now a pair of headphones Johnny Cash is soon to be a business loan I get off, it’s day 1, I've had enough of this Then i have to pay 30p for a piss I see you've got the sign for C.N.D She says “I'm not to sure what you mean” I need lessons in melody, not melancholy The year i became ordinary In the words of Douglas E. Fairbanks Ive never felt better
There’s roughly Three million, seven hundred and seventy four thousand, nine hundred and sixty one Germs on that door handle right now And each one is staring at me Whispering to his mates Look at the state of that guy Let’s have an argument about an argument Pretend it’s the first one this year, that’s fine Because everybody generalises, everybody does, all of the time Those gloves on the railings aren't lost They’re waving Im trying to see the positive in almost everything But that bloody crow he left his size 3’s on my face He’s footless and he’s footloose Even he is smiling We dropped in and out We power slid our names in the concrete Call me butter fingers Call me margarine feet Anybody's better than no one At a time like this As you talk about yourself for hours and what you do as you mine sweep that drink I trip, i pretend to run, i carry on running.
The party’s over, someone’s pissed in the sink It’s that dirty old man who keeps giving me a wink Someone chatting up the bass bin, Im feeling like anyone who’s not off their head’s has left and leaving Do the kids still say K hole? Do the kids still say later’s? Do they say special K for Ketamine? Do they say methylenedioxymethamphetamine? You should have come on down like the price is right Up since 99, what’s one more night? Add an “N” add an “A’ To M.D.M.A Were there’s a will there’s a way There’s a will, there’s a way Those come downs come keen When you work in the city in the week Sniffing coke off a Spin Doctors record Your Still shouting Micheal. J. Fox at people on skateboards Good lord
It was all part of the bereavement dividend Dave double dropped a Fishermans Friend He was up all night His highness with the cleared sinus A cough that could cut down Geoff Capes Role ups from a Scuttler on our breaks Make a mix with anything and everything on hand With a spring in your step at Beachy Head Another dream washes up dead There’s only so many times i can play the Hull Adelphi On the talkative end of a shot of Lysterine How’s your mother been? I didn’t like her I didn’t like he anyway It’s the same old story American smile, British teeth Half your heart in your handkerchief When your kids can’t eat You do whatever’s necessary Went body popping on your grave Drank cheap aftershave Draft Old Spice and a Gaviscon chaser Power Lines are bored of skipping ropes Cooling towers sit and smoke I think the thin one drank the bong water He’s spewing everywhere Friends are pushing up daisy’s like crazy There’s something in the air There’s something in this shit that we all drink I bet you go with him to the shops In your old Pyjamas and your bed socks I hope your happy You tied the knot So i tied the knot Friends are pushing out baby’s Like crazy Theres something in the air There’s something in this shit that we all drink
If anybody else asks me What i really do for a living Im going to scream I was in a mildly successful 90’s ska punk band were’ve you been man, were’ve you been And open mic’s don’t pay for flights id love to be queuing in an easy jet que. I know i look like my washing machines on strike But why is the guy at guitar and keyboard so rude Ive heard of the word pension Ive heard of the word retire Investment is committing to a double sided flyer Im a musician, in the loosest sense of the word are we still ok 30 minutes to stage time The first band are going home 20 minutes to stage time The drummer’s girl friends on the phone 10 minutes to stage time The audience has doubled So that guys not all alone 5 minutes to stage to time the drummer’s girlfriends back on the phone Ill tell you what id really like to see GG Allin in a broken down lift with one direction
32 is to young to drink with the devil The only thing holding her together Is 3 shades of Rimmel It’s the benefit of benefit It hides the bottles in her frown lines The wedding was beautiful The groom dutiful Now he swigs on stomach pump wine Traffic lights change But nothing ever passes by She sits on a bench with a thirst to quench Whisky, Whisky’s what she cries Her flat used to smell Like a burnt out clutch She broke the tags off the gin She’s not allowed back in the Booze Bin Wore a hole in the bar At the horse and cart She wants her measures exact She passes outback of the brewery tap
Im washed up This is is Any type of career hangs by the skin of its teeth As i moon walk down the isle And the vultures are hanging off the side of the church she put a pound in the collection you could see it hurt Why these religious speeches? We could make this life and incredible adventure God damn that clergy man God damn his lies And a conga might be frowned upon in the house of the lord Put your cross away and smile The crematorium incinerator wouldn’t work The vicar said have you tried turning it off and on again? Someone got caught going round the back sneaking in Said the guest list is full but you better let me in My mate used to work burning coffins, burning stiffs With rigamortis setting in you've got to keep your uper lip stiff and in turn, in that urn you get with your dead relatives in Its just brick dust All you get is brick dust When i go The end of this journey Lets go drinking like Weekend At Burnie’s The rounds are finally on me I know i tried when i was alive Jager for you For my formaldehyde It gets so cold down here A friendly little worm visits once a year He talks of people wearing crocks Parking in disabled spots Clean up that dog shit This worm is sick of it People who walk slow And public displays of affection
Smile, While you still have teeth, you miserable... This anxiety can be crushing and crippling and it’s a miracle Your still with me and my G.N.V.G From 1992 You know i worry about anything and everything. Billy Ray Valentine, Capricorn I wish i was that cool, i wish i had some sort of scam. Life's going like the clappers, it used to be just skateboarding and 90’s rapper’s Now my short term memories left in tatters Im starting to pay attention to mortgage matters Nights out are more ear plugs than drugs And you know were you can shove your free hugs But we’ve still got it If we need it When we need it What we going to do when David Attenborough dies Akeem Joffer, King of Zamunda Well wish i was that cool I wish i had some sort of plan Life's going like the drop of a hat It used to be Neil's old fiesta Fart spray Crap trucker hats Now I'm staying in having a chat about V.A.T Ive got Wilma the dog Im contemplating a cat
We could sleep in the bags under my eyes like hammocks This bad lucks surely got to end soon I spent most of this week In anything with an elasticated waste I Wont to drop to my hands and knees like that scene in Platoon I feel like that dying alien in Cocoon But i only had the one drink.. But i had it 10 times “Were’s that 10er i lent you” That phone call ripped out my soul Like a bong smoking Dementour But I've got to get back on the horse No i dont mean that horse! I mean a horse like an animal Actually i don’t know if i mean a horse like an animal I mean a horse, a horse hypothetical When i talk about this horse hypothetical or conventional I didn’t mean a horse at all I ment a bicycle Lets go to Birds and get an elephants foot Thats bound to cheer us up Your way more than anything I've ever deserved Your beautiful Your ginger cake If i had a bath and a lizard You’d be a flake Id even go as far as to say Your batenburg She only had to have the one drink


Debut album. Produced by Pete Frasier.


released May 4, 2015


all rights reserved



Chas Palmer-Williams England, UK

Chas is the former singer from the band Lightyear. Respected for their work ethic, “unorthodox” live show and strong grass root origins
With detailed, clever, humorous and sad lyrics about Midlands pride (ahem), losing loved ones, the confusion of what happens when your life doesn't pan out the way you planned and an undying geek love for games workshop.
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